I feel kind of bad posting this picture of Melanie Griffith because it looks so sad and awful. But it’s a wonderful lead-in to this titillating tid-bit. Griffith is going to be appearing on “Nip/Tuck” soon, playing Kimber’s mother, Brandie.

Brandie will be joined by Les, her too-tan, on-again-off-again car-salesman boyfriend of six years. Les, played by Robin Thomas (Another World, Who’s the Boss), ignites insta-hate from Christian (Julian McMahon). The breast-cancer-battling doc sees too much of his own abuse of women — especially Kimber — in Les’s treatment of Brandie. [Source]

Here’s hoping the magicians in make-up can do something with this. Otherwise, I’m sensing a surgery storyline for Melanie at some point soon.

It looks like Lindsay Lohan is interested in men again. Shocking. For her first foray back into the wild world of heterosexual foreplay, Lindsay set her sights on Leo Di Caprio. Not quite sure why she had to pick a dude who’s currently dating one of sexiest women in the world, but she did and I guess you have to give her props for being bold.

Lindsay spotted Leo at Hollywood hotspot My House on Wednesday night.

A source said: “As soon as Lindsay saw Leo she was like a bee to honey.

“She was going for the big catch and when she spotted him in a dark corner of the club she headed straight for him.

“She quickly monopolised his conversation and made sure she had him all to herself.

“Lindsay is a sharp tac. She wasn’t wasting her time chatting up small fish. She seemed interested in the gents with deeper pockets, probably because her career is on a downward trajectory.

“The pair were cosied up together deep in conversation. She definitely tickled his fancy.”

As the night went on and the drinks flowed, things between her and Leo hotted up and she took to the dancefloor to show off her talents.

My eyewitness added: “It was a bit shocking when she got up and started dancing in front of him but he seemed to be enjoying it.” [Source]

Leo was probably just being nice since he has absolutely no need to make friends with Lindsay. Then again, he’s a man and she’s a warm body (sorta) so maybe he was actually enjoying himself. We’ll see if Bar stands for it.

It took her long enough to jump on the bandwagon, but Kim Kardashian has finally decided to give the Jukari Fit-to-Fly workout a go. I swear, if there’s one thing Kim knows how to do it’s pick her angles. When she wants the world to see Skinny Kim, she shows them Skinny Kim and when she wants to show some booty, well she can make that happen too.

I told you today was going to be “Nudity Day.” Kanye West is using his ex-lesbian girlfriend Amber Rose’s naked butt to sell his new line of Louis Vuitton sneakers. Because finding a market for high-end kicks in the middle of a recession might be tricky business but it’s never hard finding a market for T&A. Meanwhile, some folks are skeptical about Amber’s sudden dismissal of her Sapphic tendencies.

Rose, a model formerly linked with a gay girlfriend, posed nude for the photo shoot, resting her head gently on her man’s lap.

While I’ll admit that Amber Rose is indeed striking, I can’t help but think she left her long term lesbian relationship and chose Kanye to further her own career and to gain fame. [Source]

These two sound absolutely perfect for each other. They’re both opportunists who know how to cash in on their minimal talent and our culture’s unquenchable thirst for mediocrity and BS. Rock on, Kanye, and keep doing anything for a Klondike (correct spelling and implied pun intended).

Looks like the theme of the day is naked stars. Holly Madison, late of DWTS and Hugh Hefner’s bed, has decided that she no longer wants to take her clothes off for money. Looks like our little bunny is finally growing up.

And though she’s most known for her sexy nude photo spreads in Playboy magazine, Holly says that chapter of her life is most definitely over.

Miss Madison told press, “I’m never getting naked again. I’m over it, I’ve done it so many times. It is time to switch it up.”

As far as relationships go, Holly says she hopes to find love again soon.  “My conviction has always been, being a romantic, that the best solution for a failed romance is a new romance.” [Source]

Hmmm, not quite so sure about that one, Holly. Sometimes the best solution for a failed romance is lots of alone time, marathon training and a strong intestinal cleanse. But maybe that’s just me.

Hopefully Lisa Rinna will stop yapping about her Playboy pics now that they’ve found their way to the interweb. I realize I’ve been talking a lot of smack about Rinna lately but I must say, Cat Woman-face aside, she looks as good as she said she did. I actually love the art and how the photographer went for a sort of “Sophie Loren meets Anne Bancroft as Mrs. Robinson” vibe. She’s got a late 1960s sex-MILF thing happening here and it suits her. At the very least, I’m glad Rinna looks mature and not like someone desperately clinging to the last buds of youth.

I’ve posted my favorites, for your viewing pleasure, but obviously I’ve blacked out the naughty bits because this is a family website, people! However, if you’re interested in all of Rinna’s goodies, feel free to check them out here.

OK, so apparently a double mastectomy wasn’t enough for Christina Applegate. Now, she’s aiming to have one of her lungs removed, as well. Perhaps Christina has finally realized exactly how lame “Samantha Who?” really is and the stress is just too much to bare. Regardless, it’s not excuse to be sucking on cancer sticks.

What is up with all the jailbait these days? It feels like Miley Cyrus is doing her best to make the lives of every grown man on the planet exceptionally difficult. Why else would she take these dirty pervert pix and allow them to be leaked—and don’t think for a second that the leak wasn’t Baby Cyrus‘ doing. Let’s hope Billy Ray and Mama Cyrus put the smack down on baby girl real soon because all this “older boyfriend” nonsense is leading Miley down a Hiltonesque path.