Samantha Ronson is about to be one lucky kid in one massive, glistening candy store. The celeb DJ has signed on to spin at the grand opening of Saphire 333, an upscale strip joint on New York’s tony Upper East Side. She’ll be joined by celeb hosts Audrina Patridge and Pamela Anderson. Looks like ol’ Sam timed her breakup from Lindsay Lohan pretty perfectly.

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If Samantha Ronson is so ready to move on after her tumultuous relationship with Lindsay Lohan, then why is she dating someone who looks exactly like her red-headed ex?

A source has reported that Ronson was with her new girlfriend at a party on Friday night. Lohan was not allowed to enter the venue proving how hard Sam wanted to keep Lohan entirely out of it.   Chicago Sun-Times reported that Sam was spotted with another lady who was as hot as Lohan. “Clearly with another woman - somewhat of a Lindsay look-alike, but with very dark hair… They sure looked very cozy, if you know what I mean?“

Sam has said that the main reason of the break-up was that it was becoming intolerable for her to handle all the drama created by LiLo. “Lindsay is extremely protective and jealous and needs an enormous amount of attention, and it’s stressful for the world to be watching them. [Samantha] takes it pretty good - she acts tougher than she is. She just wants the drama to end,” said a source close to Sam. [Source]

So both Sam and Lindsay are apparently tougher than everyone thinks they are. That’s great news because I sense a lot of sticks and stones heading their way in the near future.

Lindsay Lohan’s people have reported that she’s eating again but apparently, food isn’t doing much to soothe the troubled starlets soul. After finally splitting with Sam Ronson, Lindsay is finding herself very much alienated by the same people she used to call BFFs, leading some to speculate that Lindsay’s mental health might be suffering.

“Everyone’s turned on me,” she told Us magazine. Worse, without Ronson, the troubled 22-year-old star feels “so alone.”

Her relationship with Ronson has been rocky for months, with gossip blogs reporting that the pair have done nothing but argue, break up and make up. Sources told Us that Ronson has tried repeatedly to break up with Lohan over the past month, to which Lohan has responded by threatening to kill herself. [Source]

We’ve all been through at least one really bad breakup in our lives so let’s try to be a wee bit sympathetic right now. No one wants Lindsay to kill herself but maybe this is the rock bottom she needs to hit in order to turn things around.

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Looks like the end might be near for Lindsay Lohan’s lesbian love fest. Say that five times fast. Apparently, Lohan has been trading text messages with two English DJs—and they’re both men! Lindsay’s text-flirting is not making Samantha Ronson happy and you can’t really blame her.

Try as she may, Samantha Ronson is just never, ever going to get the whole XY thing down, which pisses her off miserably.

“The texts can be quite flirtatious. Lindsay swears they’re innocent but Sam worries she wants to start dating guys again. Sam is also anxious over the actress’s commitment to her. This makes Lindsay angry - she feels she’s a loyal girlfriend.” [Source]

Maybe Lindsay really is being true. In that case, Sam better watch out or her jealousy might just push Lindsay right into the lap of an actual boy.

Lindsay Lohan was spotted out and about with Samantha Ronson yesterday and while some folks think she’s looking better these days, it’s pretty much same ol’ same ol’ to me. But you be the judge—is Lindsay back on track or still derailed?

There’s something kinda gross about Lindsay’s outfit. It’s just a little too sloppy to be cool.

Lindsay still hasn’t bested GF Sam Ronson in the ongoing Battle of the Twiglets but if she keeps up with the smoking, she just might.

Lindsay Lohan is starting to look abused. This is not a shock since she is definitely abusing herself. Who knows if she’s back on drugs? Who knows if she’s stopped eating? Who knows if she’s just wiped out from a busy schedule? Not I. But I do know this: Lindsay looks bad. Really, really bad. And the cancer stick she’s got shoved in her maw is not helping.

I just really hope the dastardly duo is not refilling the gas tank at this moment.

She may not be smoking in this one but she’s certainly looking skinny and busted.

It’s gone from bad to worse for Lindsay Lohan over the last few days. Weight loss, drug relapses and domestic squabbling have taken over the young starlet’s life. My question: where are the reality TV cameras? Which network dropped the ball on this one? If I were in development at VH1 or MTV, I’d have been shooting “Lindsay Lohan’s Big Fat Mess” since September. Sadly, I am not a cable TV honcho or I’d be raking in the millions right now. Sadder still, Lindsay has apparently entered the realm of the super-scary-skinny-and-depressed.

Insiders say Lindsay’s weight has dropped from 61 kilos to 43 kilos within the past few months, which, at 5ft 6 makes her seriously underweight according to her BMI.

“She looks horribly unhealthy,” said a friend, who adds that LiLo’s pals are blaming a ‘skinny pact’ with Samantha Ronson for the rapid weight loss. “Lindsay is obsessed with her weight.”

And if that’s not bad enough, apparently she’s cutting herself too:

Spotted out partying almost every night - favouring travelling with Sam to her DJ gigs and sitting in the booth over staying out of the spotlight to repair her image - Lindsay has become a source of major worry for her close friends and family, after one insisted the actress is cutting herself, saying, “She has fresh scars on her wrists.” [Source]

Oh Lindsay, if it wasn’t so dang much fun watching ex-Disney child actors self-destruct, I’d probably stage an intervention on your behalf.

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Lindsay Lohan looked shockingly thin when she stepped out of Samantha Ronson’s Hollywood home yesterday. The actress has become the center of growing concerns with regards to her massive weight loss, as she continues her C&C diet of Caffeine and Cigarettes.

The Mean Girls star commenced the day’s proceedings yesterday with a can of cola in hand as she left Samantha Ronson’s Hollywood home.

She then headed out to Maxfields for some retail therapy where she stopped for frequent cigarette and cola breaks with a female friend.

Well one thing is for sure, this C&C diet of hers is neither helping her dwindling frame, nor doing any good to her complexion or teeth.

Photo credit: Fame Pictures