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Paris Hilton returned from outer space again recently and it looks as though she still hasn’t adjusted to the earth’s gravitational pull. At least, that’s the only reason I can find to explain what her boobs are doing in this dress. Also, on Mars they don’t wear undies and the cars are extremely small so people really have to stuff themselves into the back seat in order to get from point A to point B. Thanks Space Ambassador Paris for opening our eyes to this whole new galaxy of fashion and figure faux pas.

Paris Hilton managed to convince her Martian overlords to grant her a day pass back to earth. Paris was so excited, she put on her fanciest space clothes and stepped out for a night on the town with her earthling boyfriend.

This is another instance where pictures are far better than anything I could possibly write. I’m not entirely sure what Paris Hilton is up to here (aside from the obvious Lady Gaga impersonation) but I will say I really wish someone would get that girl into a Pilates class or make her lift some weights. She’s thin, there’s no denying that, but Paris has like zero muscle tone. And without a little bit of upper body strength, how the hell does she expect to defend herself against those pesky Martian overlords?

OK, so maybe one has nothing to with the other but it’s a funny thought, right? Paris Hilton wore a ridiculous dress to Queen Latifah’s birthday party the other night and then spent much her time there sucking face with boyfriend Doug Reinhardt, perhaps because she realized that too much attention was being paid to her weirdly boxy hips.

Paris is looking weirdly manequin-like these days. The haircut and lack of facial expression don’t help.

In her new book “Naturally Thin“, Bethenny Frankel claims to have the secret to being thin like Paris Hilton. Her book reportedly has the secrets to how many famous stars stay so skinny. However, Bethenny used to be the personal assistant to Kathy Hilton, Paris’s Mom. When she was younger she often took Paris and her sister Nicky out for dinner. According to Bethenny, Paris never skipped a craving or indulgence, but she always ate minimal amounts. Bethenny says this is how Paris stays so thin. Maybe if we all could live on two bites of a cheeseburger, we could be that thin.

Photo credit: Fame Pictures

Paris Hilton has admitted she has a weakness for fast food and would struggle to let go of any of her favourite treats for Lent. The slender socialite ‘doesn’t like’ diets and is not willing to give up anything for Lent - the Christian fasting period before Easter. She said:

“I just don’t think I could go for 40 days without something. If I did, I’d probably just give up chocolate and McDonald’s. I’ve never tried to give up anything before. I don’t like diets. My weaknesses are cotton candy and French fries.”

The 28-year-old blonde revealed that she is planning ahead for Mother’s Day, saying that she always does something special for her mom Kathy Hilton. She added:

“It’s Mother’s Day in a few weeks, so I need to plan what I’m doing. My mom loves Chanel, so I always get her presents from there - she loves the purses. “Mother’s Day is really important because my mom and I are very close, so I always make the day very special for her. We usually go to The Ivy in Hollywood for dinner - it’s her favourite restaurant.”

We hope she finds a takeaway close by.

Photo credit: Fame Pictures

Apparently, Cheryl Cole isn’t the only thing Paris Hilton loves about England. She’s been running around telling folks that she developed quite a taste for British cuisine while filming her TV show “Paris Hilton’s BFF” in London. She likes the grub so much, she’s even turned her own kitchen into a makeshift fish and chip shop.

“I love fish and chips. I may be skinny, but I love eating!” Paris said. “Believe it or not I’m a pretty amazing cook!”

Photo Credit: Fame Pictures

Curvy Icon Kim Kardashian has laughed off criticisms by Paris Hilton.

Hilton cattily commented

I would not want Kim Kardashian’s butt. It’s gross, it reminds me of cottage cheese inside a big trashbag.

The voluptuous Keeping up with the Kardashians star shot back

At least I have one! [source]

And a brain too.

Photo credit: Fame Pictures