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Eva Longoria Parker either has a very weird sense of humor, or she’s got some serious body issues. The skinny actress apparently thinks she’s fat!

Over the summer, Eva gained a few pounds for her role as Gabrielle on “Desperate Housewives“, and everyone assumed she was pregnant (because she had what appeared to be a tiny baby bump). Now Eva talks about her weight gain (what weight gain?) in the November 2008 issue of Allure magazine.

On her fuller figure:
“I stopped working out and gained about seven pounds over the summer, which is a lot for a small person. Every magazine is tearing me apart … I never went up a size. I just got rounder. I’m still a size 0.”

On growing up thinking she wasn’t beautiful:
“My nickname was Prieta Fea, which means ‘Ugly Dark one’ in Spanish. I didn’t have a boyfriend. My sisters were so mean to me. They used to say I was adopted, and ‘we picked you up at the hospital. You were the extra baby that day.”

To read the rest of Eva‘s interview, pick up Allure magazine’s November issue, on newsstands now.

As if she’s not thin to begin with! LOL! But then, people are used to seeing a skinny Eva Longoria — thus, when pictures of her looking like she gained weight, baby rumors began. And to put to stop to the weight gain talk sweeping the Web, Eva jokingly told the paparazzi recently to make her look thin as she exited her car above.

Here’s Eva Longoria Parker looking skinny as always as she was leaving an Italian restaurant in Los Angeles on Monday (April 28, 2008). Even though her dress looks like a towel wrapped around her, I love how the peach color compliments her skin tone!

Eva Longoria loves Magnum ice cream (or at least she has to pretend to). As the face of the ice cream brand, she appeared at the Magnum Manor in Cannes last week to launch a new flavor, called Magnum Mayan Mystica.

“I’m happy to represent Magnum,” she told reporters in Cannes this week, “as I believe in indulgence and sensuality.” A perfect fit, then. But is there more? Yes, I rather think there is. “Plus I have a passion for chocolate,” she goes on, “so being part of this campaign is really fun for me.” [Guardian]

Eva Longoria celebrated her birthday party (she turns 33 on Saturday, March 15) at her newly-opened restaurant Beso.

Some of Eva‘s guests included Mario Lopez, Sheryl Crow, Eve, Ken Paves, Marcia Cross and America Ferrera. Unfortunately, Eva‘s husband Tony Parker couldn’t be there because of his playing schedule.

It scares me a little seeing how skinny her legs are in these pictures… they look like two little twigs!

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Eva Longoria fulfilled her dream of owning a restaurant, by opening the “Beso” (the Spanish word for “kiss”) Mexican restaurant in Los Angeles last night (March 7).

Eva, who teamed up with chef Todd English, will be offering traditional Mexican dishes to her restaurant’s clients (the specialties of the house are guacamole and tortilla soup).

Unlike her spoiled character Gabrielle Solis on Desperate Housewives, Eva Longoria loves to cook (and is good at it too):

“I’ll go to a restaurant and if I have an amazing dish I’ll go to the kitchen and ask the chef how he made it. And then I’ll make him teach me. You can ask [my husband] Tony [Parker], I do it all the time. I’ll leave him at the table for like 30 minutes.” [People]

Photo credit: splashnews.com